A Bitter Pill to Swallow

In my previous post “When the going gets tough”, I mentioned how difficult it can be to follow the path of obedience when the direction of our church is contrary to our personal preferences. Even when we know the position our church has taken is right, our personal preferences don’t just simply disappear.

For me, the role of women in ministry is one of those circumstances where my personal preference conflicts with the position of the AGC church. This past Sunday, our Pastor spoke about this issue as we continued our series of messages reflecting on the Biblical foundation upon which our constitution has been drafted. The message made me uncomfortable, which I suppose is actually a good thing. I felt uncomfortable because the Biblical argument presented was sound, but it conflicted with my own sense of what is right and wrong. The purpose of this post is not to re-hash the message Pastor Glenn presented – if anyone wants to discuss this issue in greater detail, please contact Glenn, Joel, or me – what I want to do is share with you how I’m dealing with this conflict.

The origin of my conflict starts in my childhood. My mother was the spiritual head of our family. She assumed this role because my father did not. My mother made sure we attended church and Sunday school, taught us how to pray, and as we grew older, she engaged us in conversations about our faith life. Like Timothy, my mother played a key role in my decision to follow Christ. I grew up with a view that women could be as good as or even better than men at providing spiritual direction.

Up until 2003, our family attended the Christian Reformed Church (CRC), which is a denomination that is no stranger to the women in ministry debate. It has often been a divisive issue resulting in several churches splitting or leaving the denomination. Before switching to the AGC, I served alongside of female elders and attended many services where the Pastor was female. This felt completely natural to me. As with most churches, finding people to serve in leadership positions was always a challenge so opening up the role of elders to women basically doubled the pool of resources to draw from. In both the CRC and the AGC, I have heard from many women who have been active in the mission fields, as partners with their spouses, or as individuals on their own.

In my working life, I have worked with many women who have been gifted managers and leaders. The engineering profession actively encourages young women to pursue a career as an engineer, and I know of several women who are in senior leadership roles in their companies. The whole issue of gender equality in our society is one that is often referred to when looking at hiring people or promoting people.

So my life experience tells me that women are every bit as capable as men to do anything. It would seem logical to extend this to ministry roles such as elder and Pastor. Yet, the restriction of these roles to men is not based on ability or logic. It is a directive from God. A directive that is not influenced by culture or education or overridden by new revelation. A directive that doesn’t mesh with my personal preference.

So what are my options? Fight, flight, or obey. I could try to fight this and try to get the AGC to change its position. I could leave the AGC and join a denomination that permits women to be elders and Pastors. Or I can obey and follow the leading of the AGC and our church leadership.

I chose to obey. This means I must set aside my personal preference and follow a path I don’t want to walk. It’s not easy. Simply making this decision doesn’t erase my past experiences. It doesn’t mean I can just let go of what seems to be logical to me. I can’t turn off the messages from society that say women can be whatever they want to be.

This decision means that every day, I need to pray to God that His will be done, not mine. I need His help to overcome my resistance to following His lead. Like other aspects of my life, I need the constant reminder that my natural desire is to follow my own path, but I’m called to walk a different path.

It’s not easy. I don’t like it. But it’s what I need to do.

Jac